2009-Apr-16
I have no ability to describe that era

This book is my long maiden production, started writing in 1996, the first edition, in 1998. I have not used the computer yet while starting writing, just inside the dormitory of teaching and administrative staff of China Mining University, I lie prone on a faint yellow tabletop every day, begin the writing of this book with that transparent silent stock tube ball pen. I remember it is exactly noon at time of this book that I finish writing, I look at my ball pen, it has been already changed beyond recognition, has twined all over sticky tape all over, very dirty, like the brother that I go on an expedition. I seem to be carried away by emotion, because I have already decided to buy the computer. I have put my ball pen into the drawer, have not touched it again. 
There is an obstinate picture in the brain when I write this book, that is the city of China of the initial stage of 1990s. This picture does not certainly exist. I seem to stand on a bridge, is an open urban depth in front of me, it is a scene in winter, the vast and mighty roof is filled with the sunshine. This is a dreamlike type "  The great panorama "  . The terrible one is, I, to " great panorama " Does not believe at all times, just as I do not believe " the last statistics " . I only believe that some, because we can only survive some inside. In other words, only some to commit, store in effectively perhaps. As I come into a certain city of initial stage of the 1990s "  Some" When,how every one it is in that the restless, it is the confused, stream with sweat at the same time and seething with people scene! In initial stage of the 1990s, did we still remember? Our heart has uncountable mixing car, hoist, have the same scaffolds of mazes - -They are filled up with our city. We are eager for a fight. For what? Have not in fact decided yet. The old life that we have just pieced together is to raising a cry of warning one's own: Do something, do something quickly! Not beginning yet, our talent begins to enlighten: Will have no enough time soon. How urgent, the melancholy that so. 
Certainly, I have no ability to describe that era. But I have not put the pen in one's own hands. It is that the shellfish of dear A added Miao has helped me. He says to me: "Understand a city, how to work to nothing more than ask about people there in more convenient route, why is in love, why die. (" plague ")  " Well, let me ask about. 
The thing has made and stood up briefly. Asked about and described in initial stage of the 1990s "  People " How work, how in lovely, I the primitive motive of book. The result asked about is not very good, what I asked about are all one's own news. At the pitch-dark night, at the end of the building site, I took a flashlight on hand, the flashlight has illuminated a mirror, happen it is me inside the mirror. Too tense. 
Certainly, it is impossible for the readers who have general knowledge slightly to think what this book is written is I, personages in I and book have no relation at all. The personage, incident, scene in the book are all fictitious. But, why I will do such invention, this is the question that I must face today. 
The protagonist of this book is a university student who studies vocal music, but his mother is an educated youth who returns to the city. When I remembered them, I found unexpectedly, the source of " representative of chaste characters " and " maize " was just in this book, quiet, have not meaning waiting for a chance to cause trouble at all. This is expectation how one kind is wonderful, how to be worth expecting. So should patient. You can in order to get a present anxiety, only come night of December 24, cross the chimney of your family in the heavy snow that the old talent conference is all over the sky on Christmas, put his present in your socks, won't do in an early one day. This Santa Claus either others, or you yourself, or your true feelings. The writing is nourished, it can nourish the writing. 
To be frank, I have already forgotten most contents in the book, not I am forgetful, but my attention has not already been here. Have passed by in nine years after all - -Which writing person will recall his doing old in nine years? There is not so crazy a writer in the world. Have never expected the friend of Writer Publishing Office has hearts instead, they would like to publish this book again. I have found this book, read carefully, does not feel good, really think that is unfair to these some good intentions of Writer Publishing Office. I only want to overthrow this book, rewrite once. I but self-confident incomparably in ashamed a while incomparably: If written now, the book sure kind a lot. 
Don't be busy with being ashamed, don't be busy with being self-confident. You can obliterate at yesterday in you, it is impossible for you not to it comes down to be one man of middle age all one's life, how barren, what a hateful fellow if it is such, you are one, what have you eaten free and drunk in vain to go back? You must come over from at that time, you can only be from coming over at that time. So, in the face of doing old, it is vanity to be ashamed, self-confident and pale equally. 
Hu Shi says, it is more important than freedom to be tolerant. I agree to his words, it is as important as freedom at least to be tolerant. Tolerant, learn to relent ourselves at first. 
So want the thanks. I express gratitude to Writer Publishing Office. Such thanks are easy to be regarded as a sentence of polite, in fact not. I would like to regard the second edition of this book as the tolerance to a writing person of Writer Publishing Office. 
In Nanjing on December 27 of two or four years   

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