I have a dream

I have a dream
I think, such a big person, there is a dream. In fact, begin from the primary school, I have a dream. Want very much to tell my friends, can afraid they laugh at me, smile at me and still look like a child, it is impractical, think arbitrarily all day long. Then, while wanting to say each time, come to a halt for oneself: People, real is good. But today, I come, to the limit, borrow the thin paper, want dream to say me also suddenly. Even if someone it takes to smile and scold, does not want to mind so many either.

As a child, were shining Bing Xin's young tangerine light, wanted to have a own small tangerine light, at pitch-dark night, show the way for those children; It is slightly a bit bigger, begin not to know which way to go, shouts loudly, want to have a own pen in Lu Xun's world, save some people's soul; At the youth, experience to hurriedly, think where move road own a life time in time of Zhu Ziqing; It is a bit bigger, reading to western Don Quixote, just as become a knight, strolls at the ends of the earth, sweep the not smooth thing all over the world to the limit; Grow up, have some experiences, want to write one's own story, feel or quite there is the one that write. Narcissism think: If others read my story, what kind of idea should it be? Still a bit afraid, oneself Chinese level bad, ability to express insufficient, others can not understand Dongdong that oneself write  

Even if so, I think, I have a dream. Even if unreal, I have pieces of dream, have dream to be fine than a lot of people always. There is an article, probably write Peking University, say there is a blue moon water there, there are a lot of prose families every day, borrow the blue moonlight, is drinking the small wine satisfiedly, read aloud one's own prose. At that time, yearned for very much oneself: If oneself can get there read aloud one's own works some day, let me live, willing too 10 year little. Can hear the water disappear from the earth already, for this reason, I a couple of months sad later, just as one's own dream can't be realized. Later, felt, thought, since already been out, sad and useless; Then have a fantastic idea, reached Beijing some day, let me want to open a blue moon water, gather those men of literature and writing, absorb their quintessence, is drinking the small one's own wine, writing one's own word, reader's own word, is really an auspicious day.

Someone may say, it is excessive to begin purpose again. Nothing have, characters rotten, it is so poor for family to have, think some thing that can not can not up to forever. What they said is the fact, have nothing to refute too oneself. But think, perhaps these are exactly the my having a little. Way to draw lessons from them, explore one's own method, can farther than whom them move perhaps. There is no bottom, it could be apter to accept the thought of gains, the ones that could let oneself go are farther. Find oneself excuse, must think, always can give oneself comfort to find soul so too. At least, I have a dream, there is one that has not been realized yet, but the dream waiting for me to realize.
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However, only have dreams not all right, the key will go to realize it. Perhaps, it is very difficult to realize this dream, it is very difficult: So far as as the one failed in love which loses the lover is like, it is very difficult to resume from sad mood; Look like and pitch the remakable honeybee too, the life hangs by a hair, which dares to have dreams and can be discussed. Meanwhile, perhaps, it is very simple too to realize this dream: Only need to read some articles every day, write one's own gains in depth of comprehension; The stove making a leap forward in the society, smelt it on the pure steel, observe and learn from real life, experience one hundred flavor life. In any case, difficult to be different or easy, become different or frustrate, so long as has thought of my dream, saw the hope, have found the direction, pursue.

Perhaps someone thinks so, also begin to boast, it is impractical. However, think, say, the ones that were written are all facts. Perhaps when others have one's own dreams, he will think so almost. Even if so, one's own dream is oneself, have nothing to do with others. If think of so, does not matter either. So long as oneself diligent, some day, can realize one's own dream. Remember that it seems that someone has said how far from one's own dream, depend on how great one's own resolution is. There is enough great resolution, the real action at the beginning, then, close to the dream.

For a long time, when getting to Mongolia, ride the white horse, carry the knapsack, has been filled with four treasure, come to the │││││││ grassland, write one's own life  

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People are like the compasses

People are like the compasses
People are just like a piece of compasses with lonely thin foot, it is the people's destiny that the ones that draw are round - -The round is a thing that has already known and already won alone inside; The round is outside that a person is unknown with the thing that is not won; The centre of a circle is the people's life center. As to destiny, the attitude that I hold is " content with what one is " ,My complete letter life, defy the life further. Because I know destiny is fixed number and aggregate of parameter. People such as compasses, rule arm symbolize people loud latent energy most, this congenital latent energy is a fixed number, it is very difficult for people to change it. The rule symbolizes people's subjective efforts intensity at corner, the greater the angle of rule is, the greater representative's diligent intensity is, this acquired efforts are a parameter; It is a big parameter in life to still orientate centre of a circle on anywhere. These parameters are divided into a controllable parameter and not controllable parameter again. Like rule change of corner, diligent level of intensity, that is a controlled parameter, because people's subjective efforts intensity can well depend on people. Controllable sometimes when orienting the centre of a circle, non- controllable sometimes, because is really very helpless sometimes in life, isn't it that oneself want to go where go picture where round go picture is or good luck coincidence involuntarily frequently.

Heaven has decided our natural endowment and natural gift, just as compasses manufacturers have confirmed the length of the rule arm. When we make great efforts to magnify in our rule angle, try hard to go in our largest round of picture, we find we can only it draws to be so heavy round originally, how diligent and unable to let radius that succeed life surmount rule length of armly and then. All our incomes and achievements can only just be limited to this round of ours. Round and other we are unknown too many really with things that is not won, this is everybody's fixed number. Heaven should like this, should happy in round, why a too many one take notice of round and other we lost.

The rule arm of the compasses is short, people's natural gift is high and low. But rule arm long compasses draw round will certainly drawing round and heavy arm short than rule? This is uncertain; Natural gift achievement that high person make will certainly than natural gift low National People's Congress? Likewise, this is uncertain too. Why is this? It is not self-confident because of some persons with tall natural gift that this is, the big compasses just like a long rule arm, can unquestionably draw a very large round if magnify in the angle of rule, but he does not believe that have very long rule arms oneself, unwilling efforts go to magnify in one's own rule angle, so can only just draw a very small round too, this is the greatest regret in life. Another kind of people are only a piece of bow compasses obviously, only have very short rule arms, but it takes the large round to draw one more yet than it hard, the efforts that they risk one's life, but can not still realize one's own one in the end "  The ideal " (actually vain hope)  ,Come to one and blame Heaven and man, regret all the life.

It is important to know one's own limitations, know oneself, understand the actual length of one's own rule arm.

One can draw heavy round more, can open up heavy world more, decided by his talent fundamentally. But if does not go hard by oneself, does not go to magnify in one's own rule angle hard, can not draw a big round too.
In the system of coordinates of life, different quadrants include different contents, the localization of the centre of a circle has influenced our round income inside directly, so orient the centre of a circle, the center of finding the life seems particularly important.

It is much more important than blind picture round to orient the centre of a circle. If it is inaccurate to make a reservation, whether have not found accurately or not orientated centre of a circle on the ideal position because of various reasons, even if you make great efforts to draw a very big and very large round, have got a lot, but the circle still in your life of that point that expects in your ideal most is outside, such you unhappy eventually. So must find the coordinate of centre of a circle in one's own life accurately, the localization of efforts of clearing away all obstacles and surmounting every difficulty is there, then begin to draw one's own ideal round.

The compasses have rule arms and have angles of rule too, there are fixed numbers that there are parameters too in life. People are like the compasses - -Know its fixed number, and does not worship it blindly; Hold parameter its, follow blindly their.

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How much have unusual experience

This union relying mainly on graduate student is under her dogged and stubborn insistance, " seal " She "some official post " . For her, it is the great encouragement, strengthen her self-confidence greatly, do more and more energetically. She has already exceeded 1.6 meters in height at the age of 14, like an adult. All there is her one activity of a lot of foreign students, for example and dancing, clothing show,etc. on the same stage of graduate students; She work as have thousands of host of Spring Festival Party of audience also 15 that year such as year old. 
Central Song and Dance Ensemble formed a team to go to U.S.A. to perform for the first time at the beginning of 1992. There are headliner such as Wei Wei, Yin Xiumei,etc. in the performer. That time, I reach the airport connecting machine of Houston with daughter, I assist the stage director while performing, she is accompanying the troupe to not only work as the interpreter but also work as a guide, shuttles back and forth between several headliners, easy on "  Chase " Have had " the superstar " ,Take a lot of group photos with them alone, is admired by a group of star fans. This experience, except let her understand " star condition " of China Outside, have further promoted and strengthened her impression of Chinese art and love too. 
How much have unusual experience foreign student early years, they come my home exchange U.S.A. all sorts of joys and sorrows of life sometimes, high Qian is listened attentively to aside. Incomparable influence arises to her immature soul in these experiences, have worked energetically and played a certain role to her hard. Remember one from student that Shanghai come, to migrate to U.S.A. grandparents to make labourer guarantee his economy of running come U.S.A. by early years, just read junior middle school when just been here. Because of grandparents' age being already high and the economic base has not been good, in fact can't give him any economical help, he wants to totally work as a temporary labourer and support the family by oneself. 
I know him, he has already finished the high school in U.S.A., is studying in the electrical machinery department in the university. Educate in the university undergraduate course to be difficult to get scholarship, foreign student tuition want kind thousands of too one year. China general civil servant only salary of dozens of yuan in every month at that time, expect it is impossible for domestic parents to send the tuition to him, can only work as a temporary labourer to earn money desperately by oneself. In more than 1 year after I get to know him, his hair is all that I help what he paid attention to, dig a hole the middle a newspaper, set is cut on the head. Once helping him to move, I am accompanied by daughters me specially and gone with us and " seen the world" ,The experience another one "  The American society "  . This student lived in a quite simple and crude log cabin, he never opened the air conditioner for the electricity of province. Turn on air conditioner take bored people extremely, but he stay in school, library, restaurant mostly definitely summer in Texas, pass at midnight and just go home. What made people inconceivable is, it has been already 56 years since he came to U.S.A., middle and upper to the university from the beginning, all family belongings, including book, there is only a carton of Forth Five-Year Plan Period to cost altogether. On the road to come back, the daughter is surprised all the way, sigh with deep feeling very much. However, she says, his destiny will change soon, so long as accept good education, there is bright future. It was very difficult that it had such feeling that less than the child 10 years old at that time. In foreign student's circle while as a child, came and went and kept in touch with the adults, imperceptibe influence made her thought early riper. 
One day, residing in American singer Yang Song hold special show concert, I was responsible for receiving, take a plane for the daughter "  Take on work " ,Let her do the piano and accompany for the singing of Mr. Song. Mr. Song get music master in China, obtain vocal music doctor in U.S.A., must pass international tournament singer of Grand Prix, still in the American university as the part-time professor, he was once invited to participate in president Clinton's inaugural celebration performance of White House and sing in the Atlanta Olympics. With his professional level, the daughter just 15 years old accompanied for him at that time, really dipped in very big light. He is 4 songs of performance of cooperating with daughter very delightedly. While performing, he introduces very courteously once appearing on the stage: "Very honoured today, please arrive to high Miss Qian to accompany for me. " 
In front of performance, explained according to his oral account, Gao Qian made and put down, wrote the English introduction for the song that he performed. It's interesting, even rehearse and accompany, put down and write the song introduction, and the format design of whole programme is inclusive, high Qian finished with high efficiency after only taking half days. 
With the daughter's growth experience, I realize deeply, parents let the child keep in touch with one's own colleague or friend, it is hard to assess to the influence which the child grows up. Each family and parents will unavoidably have limitation of their life and knowledge, let children keep in touch, exchange with the adult of different backgrounds extensively, can remedy school education and defect of home education, make the child's thought riper.   

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I have no ability to describe that era

This book is my long maiden production, started writing in 1996, the first edition, in 1998. I have not used the computer yet while starting writing, just inside the dormitory of teaching and administrative staff of China Mining University, I lie prone on a faint yellow tabletop every day, begin the writing of this book with that transparent silent stock tube ball pen. I remember it is exactly noon at time of this book that I finish writing, I look at my ball pen, it has been already changed beyond recognition, has twined all over sticky tape all over, very dirty, like the brother that I go on an expedition. I seem to be carried away by emotion, because I have already decided to buy the computer. I have put my ball pen into the drawer, have not touched it again. 
There is an obstinate picture in the brain when I write this book, that is the city of China of the initial stage of 1990s. This picture does not certainly exist. I seem to stand on a bridge, is an open urban depth in front of me, it is a scene in winter, the vast and mighty roof is filled with the sunshine. This is a dreamlike type "  The great panorama "  . The terrible one is, I, to " great panorama " Does not believe at all times, just as I do not believe " the last statistics " . I only believe that some, because we can only survive some inside. In other words, only some to commit, store in effectively perhaps. As I come into a certain city of initial stage of the 1990s "  Some" When,how every one it is in that the restless, it is the confused, stream with sweat at the same time and seething with people scene! In initial stage of the 1990s, did we still remember? Our heart has uncountable mixing car, hoist, have the same scaffolds of mazes - -They are filled up with our city. We are eager for a fight. For what? Have not in fact decided yet. The old life that we have just pieced together is to raising a cry of warning one's own: Do something, do something quickly! Not beginning yet, our talent begins to enlighten: Will have no enough time soon. How urgent, the melancholy that so. 
Certainly, I have no ability to describe that era. But I have not put the pen in one's own hands. It is that the shellfish of dear A added Miao has helped me. He says to me: "Understand a city, how to work to nothing more than ask about people there in more convenient route, why is in love, why die. (" plague ")  " Well, let me ask about. 
The thing has made and stood up briefly. Asked about and described in initial stage of the 1990s "  People " How work, how in lovely, I the primitive motive of book. The result asked about is not very good, what I asked about are all one's own news. At the pitch-dark night, at the end of the building site, I took a flashlight on hand, the flashlight has illuminated a mirror, happen it is me inside the mirror. Too tense. 
Certainly, it is impossible for the readers who have general knowledge slightly to think what this book is written is I, personages in I and book have no relation at all. The personage, incident, scene in the book are all fictitious. But, why I will do such invention, this is the question that I must face today. 
The protagonist of this book is a university student who studies vocal music, but his mother is an educated youth who returns to the city. When I remembered them, I found unexpectedly, the source of " representative of chaste characters " and " maize " was just in this book, quiet, have not meaning waiting for a chance to cause trouble at all. This is expectation how one kind is wonderful, how to be worth expecting. So should patient. You can in order to get a present anxiety, only come night of December 24, cross the chimney of your family in the heavy snow that the old talent conference is all over the sky on Christmas, put his present in your socks, won't do in an early one day. This Santa Claus either others, or you yourself, or your true feelings. The writing is nourished, it can nourish the writing. 
To be frank, I have already forgotten most contents in the book, not I am forgetful, but my attention has not already been here. Have passed by in nine years after all - -Which writing person will recall his doing old in nine years? There is not so crazy a writer in the world. Have never expected the friend of Writer Publishing Office has hearts instead, they would like to publish this book again. I have found this book, read carefully, does not feel good, really think that is unfair to these some good intentions of Writer Publishing Office. I only want to overthrow this book, rewrite once. I but self-confident incomparably in ashamed a while incomparably: If written now, the book sure kind a lot. 
Don't be busy with being ashamed, don't be busy with being self-confident. You can obliterate at yesterday in you, it is impossible for you not to it comes down to be one man of middle age all one's life, how barren, what a hateful fellow if it is such, you are one, what have you eaten free and drunk in vain to go back? You must come over from at that time, you can only be from coming over at that time. So, in the face of doing old, it is vanity to be ashamed, self-confident and pale equally. 
Hu Shi says, it is more important than freedom to be tolerant. I agree to his words, it is as important as freedom at least to be tolerant. Tolerant, learn to relent ourselves at first. 
So want the thanks. I express gratitude to Writer Publishing Office. Such thanks are easy to be regarded as a sentence of polite, in fact not. I would like to regard the second edition of this book as the tolerance to a writing person of Writer Publishing Office. 
In Nanjing on December 27 of two or four years   

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Question and agony

View and thought of this book, mostly come from my experience of obtaining employment. In daily clinic and clinical work, I witness a lot of escape ripe person, have witnessed the experience that a lot of people work hard for trying to be ripe too. So, there are many true cases in the book. One of the most important principles of the psychotherapy, just keep secret for patient, so, names of the personages of these cases and other details, all pass the change of a certain degree, the principle is not to twist me to get along with the patient under the prerequisite of the truth, try hard to protect the patient's individual privacy.

However, this book is mostly very simple in description of patient's condition, hide some truth, I believe that unavoidable. In fact, psychotherapy complicated course, can get instant result, accomplish in one move while being few, and I have centralized pen and ink too, describe several key parts, this may leave a kind of impression on readers, not only the drama of i.e. my narration to the treatment, but also succinct. The drama is a fact, narrate the succinct situation, perhaps exist too, but I want to supplement one sentence: In most treatments, it is puzzled and depressed that I am standing the long-term one, this is an unavoidable result, just in consideration of readability, the details in one and experiencing, have nearly been omitted completely by me.

Mention " God " ,This book has used traditional man's image without exception, I want to apologize for this too, but do so, it is just the convenience that is narrated, but not I have any deep-rooted sex idea.

As psychologist, I think from the beginning, should explain two loud basic prerequisites of book this. The first prerequisite is: I have no "  Intelligence " With " spirit "  Distinguish, so, in " maturity of spirit " With " maturity of intelligence "  Between,it make clearly either I it distinguish, in fact they for the same thing.

Another prerequisite is, the journey with ripe intelligence is that one is complicated and arduous, and the task of a lifetime. The psychotherapy can offer perfect help for that intelligence is ripe, but it is not the quick, simple treatment forever. I do not belong to the any psychiatric or psychological therapeutics school, will never support Floyd, Jung, A to tie tight simply, or the theories of any ones such as behavioral psychology, shape psychology,etc.. I do not believe that pass the single therapeutic way, single solution, can solve all problems. Certainly, perhaps the single psychotherapy form is helpful, so we should not despise, however, the help that they offered, obviously not only superficial, but also weak.

The journey with ripe intelligence is extremely long, faithful patient of those to me - --They follow me and pass by the most important part of this section of journey - --I will express thanks to them, their journey is my journey too, and most contents of this book, we go through together in fact and everything of study. I want to thank many teachers and counterparts too, among them the most important one is my wife Lily, the role of her person who has spouse, parents, psychotherapy concurrently, her intelligence and generosity, |||| have given me greatest help. 

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There are one edition of preambles

Lack the way that someone takes  There are one edition of preambles (2) in the 25th anniversary

"This will bring much enlightenment to us. " I continue saying: "A kind of enlightenment is, you have already begun to surmount the restriction of the traditional idea. " Surmount traditional idea while being what is called, to that is to say for a long time, countless people think (think just I! )Thing which others resent. When I explain that surmount the meaning of the traditional idea and great meaning in detail, they totally agree to my view.

Some people call me prophets, some titles of exaggerating its diction that this seems, I can accept, this is only because 

They think, the so-called prophet, it is not that kind that can see the future person clearly, but can read contemporary various persons of signals and characteristics. " lack the way that someone takes " can sell well, mainly because it totally meets the tendency of the day; It is readers' extensive approval, just make it succeed.

25 years before, when this book has been just published, my its destiny of illusion innocently, I think every national big newspapers and periodicals will be appraised to it. Thank God for God's care, in fact, it only gets one and appraises at first   But, what a important appraisal that is! I want say, book this can succeed, a big chunk want, attribute to special Rocco silk then, jasmine of Philippine. The Philippine jasmine is the outstanding writer then, and a reviewer too, in editor's office of book review of " Washington Post ", she has found a advance copy in surprise in the middle of a lot of books. After browsing through the catalogue of this book, she takes it home. Two days later, she require that writes a book review for this book, editor agreed with the book review reluctantly. The Philippine jasmine left his office at once then, also said to him personally before leaving: "I will draft a book review meticulously, I believe this book is sure to become the best seller. " She has not broken one's promise. Comment of her come out, less than one week still, " whether little someone take way " the book, mount " Washington Post " " best best seller book roll " . A few years later, it begins to appear on every national big best-seller list successively, nearly on any best-seller list of the whole country later, will all present its name, this kind of situation is sustained until today, time is as long as nearly 20 years.

I thank the Philippine jasmine then, have another reason. As this book has more and more impressive reputation, she may want to remind me, should keep the prudent and modest attitude, do solid work, continue working well, so say to me: "As you know, it is not the book that you wrote. "

I understand her soon, she to want, say " road which little someone takes " does not my works, but want to say this heartfelt wishes of writing a lot of people out, just like come from God's hands. Even so, this book is not perfect either, all shortcomings should also be taken charge of by me. Though it may have some shortcomings, because its unique value, is still needed by countless people so far. I remember clearly all the time too, in forcing the narrow office, as I stand loneliness on one side, while throwing on one side into the energies for it, like in the unseen world, I have got a kind of help, one kind is mysterious, is like the help from God. Certainly, I do not know where help comes from on earth, but I firmly believe, that kind of peculiar |||| experience is not that I am exclusive. In fact, help, help, help - --It is a final theme of this book. 

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